*Zivildienst*

No more Zivis in Germany?

*Weihnachtsmann der Deutschen Post*

Does anyone else think that Deutsche Post's Santa is a bit creepy? I don't know what it is.


Frohe Weihnachten!

*Walking Dogs*

If you want to go walk dogs at the animal shelter, you have to have a "Hundeführerschein"--a dog walking license. Wow. That is so German.

*German Beds*

At "Ann On a Moose" I found the following:

German beds are frequently problematic. Until now, we’ve had a water bed, but we’ll be switching to two twin mattresses. My mother mentioned that there were foam pieces for the notorius mattress gap and we decided to at least look and see if there was a similar product on the German market.

It would appear there is – die Liebesbrücke – the love bridge.

And the gap, the crack between the two mattressess is a “Besucherritze” – the visitor crack.

Happy to be of service.

Ha ha ha. A friend of mine told me that she and her husband were shocked when they saw that American beds only had one bedspread for the two of them. You have to admit, the two-bedspread system is more practical.

*Stuffing for Thanksgiving in Germany*

Thanksgiving is one of those American holidays that you just don't miss, even if you're living in a foreign country. And I'll tell you why: it's the stuffing. Okay, for me, anyway. Turkey's great for making you zonk out and mashed potatoes and gravy are a staple in any true American diet, but stuffing . . . oh, it's something special.

So each time I've celebrated Thanksgiving in Germany, it goes something like this:

Someone: "We want to celebrate Thanksgiving."
Me: "Great! I'll make the stuffing!"
Someone: "I can make the stuffing. Why don't you make the potatoes?"
Me: "You could use my recipe. It's really awesome."
Someone: "Oh, that's okay. I've got one already."
Me: "I'll make the stuffing! And a pie!"
Someone: "Sounds good."

Yeah, so that was actually an exaggeration. But I do like to make stuffing or at least consume stuffing, especially when it's made of Mom's recipe. But then, when shopping for ingredients, it goes something like this:

Me talking to myself in Denglisch: Brot, Zwiebeln, Butter, gut. I have Salbei zu hause . . . now I just need celery (walking to the produce section, looking around, not finding any).
Me to a store employee: Haben Sie Sellerie?
Store employee: Yeah, here, let me show you (except in German, obviously).
Me: That looks like a root (see picture below). I need celery.

Store employee: This is celery (pointing to sign).
Me: Okay, but I need the plant part of celery.
Store employee: For what?
Me: Stuffing.
Store employee: ?
Me: Where do I get the green plant part of celery?
Store employee: We don't have that.
Me: Yes. Do you know where I could find some?
Store employee: Maybe a farmer's market? Or Kaufland (the German version of Target)?

So I make another trip or two. Just for the celery stalks. But you will know why it's worth it when you try this recipe (no turkey necessary!):

Basic Stuffing Recipe

2/3 cup butter

1 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup chopped celery

Saute until onion is clear.

In a large bowl, mix together:

18 slices bread, toasted and cubed

2 tsp. salt

1 tbsp. poultry seasoning (sage, thyme, marjoram)

Dash of sage

Then add onion mixture and approximately one cup boiling water and mix well. Add more water if necessary. Stuff into turkey right before cooking. Bake remaining stuffing at 325 degrees (162 Celsius) for about an hour. You might want to cover it with foil and then uncover it for the last 15 or so minutes for some crispy pieces on top.

*Angela Merkel*

I don't know what she's laughing about, but isn't Angela Merkel great?

*Blaue Augen*

Did you know what are called bruised or "black" eyes in English are called "blue eyes" in German?

How does that make sense when people like me have blue eyes all the time?

*Germany's Done with Payments*

Did you know, as of the German Unification Holiday yesterday, Germany is done with the reparation payments from WWI?

See this article.

And here's an interesting photo gallery with pictures of East Germany right after the wall fell and again many years later.

*Join Me In Laughing At German Bureaucracy*

I wonder how this system would be hilariously different if it were the American/German system.

*Schwimmen*

Swimming in America's public swimming pools:

















Swimming in Germany's public swimming pools:
















(In case you didn't catch it, Americans seem to just play and Germans are all about the business of diving and laps and fitness.)

*Tiere*

Guess who finally saw the Wildpark in Leipzig? That means that within a matter of a few weeks, I had finally seen animals that Germans couldn't believe I'd never seen . . .

• two hedgehogs (one in the headlights--I totally scared the driver with my excited yell--and one up close in Schkeuditz)
• two foxes (one on the sidewalk--I pulled over the car onto the sidewalk and started running towards it until it ran away--and a sleepy one in a fenced-in area at the park)
• wild boars (that I guess aren't so wild since they're taken care of in the Wildpark)
  

Finally! Yes!

*Uncapitalized First Words in Letters*

The differing German grammar and editorial rules have left my brain completely confused. But one thing that I will never remember is the uncapitalized word at the start of letters. Like this:

Liebe Michelle,

hast du einen schönen Tag gehabt?

To the American/English eye, the H needs to be capitalized because it's the start of a sentence, but to a German eye, the H needs to be lower case because "Liebe Michelle" is actually the start of the sentence. It makes sense, but a new paragraph that starts with a lower case seems so weird to me. I guess it's just the sense of tradition.

*Flag Symbols*

= America

= Deutschland Fußball

This probably has a lot to do with the fact that under normal circumstances, too much national pride is connected with touchy nationalism of the past. But when Germany's soccer team plays, everyone can finally be proud and scream "Deutschland" as loud as they want.

*Sandalen und Socken*

It's bad enough when older generations wear sandals with socks, but when they support their kids wearing the same to church . . .



Nein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Pie in Germany*

You know Germans ate the pie you made when they forget to eat the bottom crust. (They don't really make pie, and pie tins don't really exist here.)

:)

*Besteck in der Geschirrspülmaschine*

I don't know if this is just a German thing, but I've noticed everyone here puts the handle down in those dishwasher silverware baskets. I think they think they'll get cleaner that way, but isn't that why there are holes in the basket, so the water can get everywhere?



I like to put handles up so that you don't cut yourself with knives when you put them away and so your spoons and forks and other utensils don't end up with fingerprints on the part that's going to be in somebody's mouth later.

Then there are those racks at the very top of the dishwasher, where the silverware can be washed laying down. Those are cool.

Which way do you place the silverware in the dishwasher?

*Street Names*

Street names have no system here and it drives me a little bit crazy sometimes.

For example, a side street will have the same name as the main street.

Or a perfectly straight street will change names. Like this one:

*Backing in Cars*

Another good point by American Dresdner:

Germans like to back their cars in to parking spots. See her amusing video here.

*Man Vs. Chocolate*

Who has their priorities right? Those going for chocolate or those going for a man?

Trude Herr's "Ich Will Keine Schokolade:"

Ich lebe unerhört solide,
und habe nie ein Rendezvous.
Ich gehe höchstens mit den Eltern
ein Stück spazieren ab und zu.
Mein Vater sagt so muss das bleiben,
und dafür schenkt er mir Konfekt.
Doch neulich platzte mir der Kragen,
weil mir Konfekt nunmal nicht schmeckt!

Ich will keine Schokolade ,
ich will lieber einen Mann,
ich will einen, die mich küssen
und um den Finger wickeln kann!

Ich hatte neulich grad Geburtstag,
und diesen Tag vergess' ich nie,
denn alle Tanten und Verwandten
die waren mit von der Partie.
Sie brachten Rosen und Narzissen
und Schokolade zentnerschwer,
da hat's mich plötzlich fortgerissen,
ich schrie: "Ich will das Zeug nicht mehr".

Ich will keine Schokolade,
ich will lieber einen Mann,
ich will einen, die mich küssen
und um den Finger wickeln kann!

Ich kaufte Sonntag auf dem Rummel,
für zwanzig Pfennig mir ein Los.
Ich hab' auch wirklich was gewonnen
Doch die Enttäuschung, die war groß.
Denn ich gewann doch einen Teddy
aus Schokolad' und Marzipan.
Den schmiss ich wütend in die Menge
und schrie den Losverkäufer an:

Ich will keine Schokolade,
ich will lieber einen Mann,
ich will einen, die mich küssen
und um den Finger wickeln kann!

Ich will einen der mich küssen
und um den Finger wickeln kann!

Translation:

I never have any dates. At the very most I get to go for a short walk with my parents. But my father says, this is how it should stay and gives me chocolate (as compensation). But recently I just exploded because chocolate doesn't taste good anymore.

Chorus: I don't want chocolate. I would rather have a man. I want a man who can kiss me and wrap me around his finger.

I celebrated my birthday just a while ago, together with my aunts, who gave me flowers and chocolate. But I yelled "I don’t want that anymore!"

Chorus.

Last Sunday I bought lottery tickets at the fair and won. But the prize disappointed me a lot. Because I got a teddy bear, chocolate, and marzipan. I threw it all angrily into the crowd while screaming at the lottery ticket seller:

Chorus.

*Toilet Paper*

I think this "new easy and fast to open" toilet paper is hilarious. Was it ever difficult to open toilet paper? And are people that desperate to open a new pack of toilet paper that they need a serated corner? Notice how whoever opened the package didn't even use the easy-to-open corner.



Speaking of toilet paper, did I ever tell you the story of how Elder Dixon put some toilet paper in the shopping cart and Sister Dixon, who can't read much German, but who understood the word "Recycling," yelled, "Eeeew! We can't buy recycled toilet paper!" (She thought it had been used as toilet paper before. Ha ha.)

*Alu Folie*

Aluminum foil in Germany is noticeably thicker and thus stiffer than the stuff I always saw in the States. Maybe the American stuff isn't really aluminum anymore? Who knows.

*Tortillas and Hash Browns*

It's a little difficult to find tortillas or frozen hash browns in Germany.

Good thing you can easily make tortillas with water, salt, and Schweineschmalz (lard):



The hash browns just require you to peel, grate, and pan-fry potatoes.

But on the other side, good luck finding marzipan, zitronat, and quark in the U.S.

*Bureaucracy*

When I applied for a student visa, I had to open a locked account that only allowed me to withdraw a certain amount each month. That account has long been at 1.50 € because the bank can't close it without permission from immigration office. So I emailed the office and asked for a letter saying the account could be closed so I can have a free, online, non-student account. Here's the answer:

Sehr geehrte Frau Glauser,

die Aufhebung der Sperre für Ihr Konto habe ich verfügt.
Bitte holen Sie das Schreiben für die Bank an der AUSGABE unserer Behörde zu unseren Öffnungszeiten persönlich ab.
Die Gebühr beträgt 10,00 €.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen

I have to pay 10 € to get 1.50 € and the peace of mind that comes with one less bank account. Typical.

Should I go to the trouble of picking up the letter and paying? :D

*Je . . . Desto*

It took me a long time to grasp the way to say things like this:

The more I read the more I want to read.

or

The less I (fill in your own words here) the less I (and here).

etc.

And I'll tell you why. The words that Germans use in these cases sound ridiculously non-German to me. They sound Spanish or something. And I could never remember which word came first.

Here they are:

je

desto

The leo.org dictionary (my lifeline) defines "je . . . desto" as "the . . . the." Yeah. Confusing without an example. So here's one for your enjoyment:

Je mehr ich lese, desto mehr ich lesen will. (The more I read, the more I want to read.)

*Telegraphic Sentences*

Because German verb conjugations have more forms (or it's my opinion anyway), in German, you can leave off your subject and it's already understood who did what. I like it but I've noticed it's left me writing some telegraph-sounding emails to friends in English:

Am finished with the book. Thought it was great. Hope you also enjoy it.

(Bin fertig mit dem Buch. Dachte, dass es super war. Hoffe, dass Du es auch genießt.)

:D

*Sleds*

Since we've had -19 degrees Celsius around here (about 2 degrees Fahrenheit) that won't let the powdery snow go away, I've seen sleds everywhere. People pull their kids around on them. But where do they sled when Leipzig is so flat? I finally saw some kids going down an artificially-built hill that supported the train tracks. It was pretty steep and I was impressed.



Anyway, everyone has sleds that look like this. It surprises me a little. Since they're all raised up like that, isn't that a little more dangerous for the kids? I guess I'm just still wary since my sledding accident on January 1st, 2009.